iFet news, foot porn by the book

Foot porn by the book

You know that when you read a book on your lap, unless someone is peering over your shoulder, no one can see what you are reading, right? Well many of us have also worked out that if you are sat facing a computer screen, people behind you can see it. That’s why all the desks that face the wall in the iFet dungeon always go first. However in the iFet dungeon no one bats an eyelid if we’re watching fetish porn. Not so in one local library (possibly in Boston) where a chap was caught red handed watching foot porn on a computer screen. As you can see from the footage boston.barstoolsports.com our voyeur didn’t even flinch at the I-can-see-you cough 27 seconds in. So dear readers, remember if you’re looking at porn in public, and you don’t want to get in trouble, at least try to face the wall.

BaD SM

According to a survey of the Dutch scene, safe words are being ignored and the consent contract is often violated. The survey, which is a little typo-heavy, was carried out by KinkyMinds and begins:“In the Dutch scene, pre-negotiated limits and safeword are ignored on a regular basis. Likewise, many kinksters have experienced scenes that. With hindsight, went too far. This is not always considered bad, and it’s certainly not always experienced as abuse. Consent is a less absolute given as usually assumed. Condent is the norm, but not always actual practice.“A substantial part of the consent violations happens at parties. The idea that parties are safe places for a first scene should be revised at least a little.” Read the full survey here: http://www.kinkyminds.nl

But this problem is not just confined to Holland. In the UK we often boast about the BDSM scene being a safe, self-policing place where diversity is accepted? Many of us in the scene – and private players – often feel the need to defend ourselves against the media and general society who see us as being dangerous, abused psychopaths.When we hear of bad things on the scene, and bad things happen in any walk of life as we are all human, we often deal with it internally by excluding these people. This is largely because feeding the fire of media frenzy won’t help people understand BDSM is a legitimate sexuality/toolbox to pick from and we aren’t all the same.

But abuse does happen and if it happens to you then you must speak up. If violators of the safe, sane and consensual code know that they can be hold to account either by the scene or by authorities outside, then the scene will be a safer place for all of us.

Bully for voting!

“When there is a European parliament election there is one man you need to call…” pronounced a sadly-pulled ad advertising the powers of superhero Voteman (well We at iFet say sadly, the good folk at the Guardian are glad it got dealt with).

When we first meet Voteman in the ad he’s a studded collar wearing, gruff voiced, moustachioed muscular oaf who's getting blown at an orgy. But he wasn’t always this way, as we hear the sorry tale of how Voteman was once a scrawny wretch who forgot to vote. He realised that he would have no influence on climate regulations, agricultural subsidies, chemicals in toys and how much cinnamon he can have on his cinnamon bum.

But as the election loomed, Voteman is called into battle and we see him riding across the country atop a couple of dolphins finding defectors and punching them into the ballot booth. His dolphins even get in on the action flipping their flippers in people’s faces. Apparently you can’t run, you can’t hide, you can’t even fornicate without Voteman hunting down you down and forcing you to do your duty.

Now this is clearly a cartoon – everyone knows dolphins don’t punch people out of water and nothing violent actually happens to non-voters as a result of their not voting. Indeed to allay any fears, the video does add the disclaimer: “Voteman is a fictional character. The opinions expressed are solely Voteman’s. No hipsters were harmed during the making of this film.”

Whatever you think of it, this video likely reached parts of the electorate that some fuddy duddy manifesto by some guy in a suit would fail to. But don’t fear, rather than facing redundancy, Voteman and his dolphins have gone viral because, as you probably know, being banned makes everything more exciting. And Voteman certainly gets our vote. See the English version of the ad here: www.youtube.com

“Come” to the university of kink

It’s a frustrating fact that having Cambridge, Oxford, Stanford or Harvard-type universities on a CV will open more doors that lesser known/celebrated/elitist unis – even if you did better at a “lesser” institution. But I wonder if a degree from a Kinky university would hinder job prospects. It may cause a giggle, the odd eyebrow raise, it may even illicit though a curiosity-inspired interview but sadly it would probably lead to a job – unless you’re going for one like mine that is!OK so Kinki University is not actually kinky; you won’t find advanced Shibari or rubber design on its syllabus. It is named after the region in Japan’s Midwest. The university's dean Hitoshi Shiozaki is so annoyed with people giggling at the esteemed institution that he’s come out and said: "The word 'kinky' also means perverted. We have no other choice than changing the English name because we are serious about pursuing a more international school culture."To be fair “kinky” doesn’t actually mean perverted. According to the Oxford dic it means, “Involving or given to unusual sexual behaviour.” So kinky is a neutral umbrella term for all sorts of behaviours and preferences while perverted is, in my opinion, a mean judgment of these behaviours embraced by some and loathed by others. You would think a big uni cheese would get it right!?Shiozaki has now said that Kinki University will henceforth be known as Kindai University – a contraction of "Kinki" and "Daigaku" which means university. He thinks it will stop people laughing and he’s right as we think it’s a crying shame. 

City seeks to ban sexy toys

The US city of Sandy Springs in Georgia is seeking to ban the sale of sex toys to anyone without a "medical, scientific, educational, legislative, or law enforcement" purpose (I haven’t checked, but I have a hunch that rolling up in a doctor’s outfit and using the word “trust me” is unlikely to get anyone very far). Sandy Springs residents can still peruse online retailers, but the act of ordering sex toys would still officially be breaking the law.Challenging them is Melissa Davenport, 44 who says sex toys have saved her marriage. "(Some people) have this dirty mind about how people are going to use it," she says. “People really do need devices because they need it for health reasons and to have a healthy intimate life with their spouse." We say we have a right to our “dirty minds”. We even have a right to actually BE dirty as long as we’re safe, sane and consensual, though that may be a bit much for the government to palate.

Davenport’s plea will hopefully be particularly jarring to the moral sensibilities of the banners as she has multiple sclerosis, which she claims interferes with her ability to enjoy sex. Often small-minded prudes can have the idea that disabled people are sweet, sexless and unthreatening so hopefully Davenport will challenge their idea of toy usage being bad.We’re assuming the more unobvious kinky fare like rope, slippers and paddle brushes have gone under the radar so hopefully the kinksters of Sandy Springs can get creative. If you are reading this and you have trouble getting hold of toys wherever you are, remember there is a whole host of household pervertables at your disposal – from root vegetables to showerheads. In fact the iFet team are, at this very moment, trying and testing a whole load for out “Top 13…pervertable household objects” feature which will be coming atcha as soon as we’ve calmed down. So take that you stupid Georgia prudes!